SM-AS-541999-J and other thingamajiggies

Mouth #: SM-AS-541999-J
Object Class: All-Star
Special Moderation/Alteration Sororities: Every 2 months, a female Mobile Task Force member (from any branch) is to tell a nearby male that the planet Earth will "roll" him, and that he isn't as high of an intelligence as he perceives himself to be, while within a 16-foot radius of SM-AS-541999-J. The female MTF member needs to also look to be of low IQ, possibly by having a finger and thumb pointed as the loser sign on her forehead. After all that glitters is gold, only shooting stars will be allowed to break the moss, mold, or any form of surface-based plant-like slow-replicating, bacterium. Not performing such actions pose a risk of this document being altered, starting from the top (including title & header), and ending at the very bottom, with some exceptions & variations. Corruption of document is irreversible, but, as a result, any changes made by such corruption will become true, and thus, as a result of this item's corruption amount, it has developed manageable containment procedures, replacing the "Watch paint dry and commit a suicide bombing in the nearest city and killing 9 people with it after." instructions that used to waste multiple D-Class personnel.

SM-AS-541999-J is a bulletproof green 58cmX58cmX[Varying, see addendum 2.]cm rubber rectangular prism with the words "Dr. ███████████ █████████ ███ ██ is a ██████ and should die like the ████ ██ is!" inscribed on its west side, regardless of actual orientation. Any and all mentions of avocadose avocacomatose advocacy avocrungy spingus persea americana on a document of any kind with the standard name that have come into contact with people that have come into contact with such documents while also having the document of 541999-J in a line of sight, are changed to be misspelled, fused with other words, or replaced with similar words, as a secondary affect.

Addendum 1: Faint whispering of an infinitely generated "Lorem Ipsum" filler text can be heard withing a 4-foot radius of 541999-J, restarting whenever the sound is not being heard by any form of device or being with hearing capabilities.

Addendum 2: The height of 541999-J shifts as if it was following a sine-wave based off of an unknown variable, theorized to be a "time since x/x/xxxx".

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License