FrankWest2
rating: 0+x
salad.jpg

SCP-XXXX-J

Item ##: SCP-XXXX-J

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-J is to be kept at Site-14's containment refrigerator when not being tested with. During testing, SCP-XXXX-J is to be placed in the center of an otherwise empty room with one or more test subjects. Individuals exposed to SCP-XXXX-J that exhibit the Minority Effect are to be euthanized for being mentally deficient beyond recovery. Majority Effect individuals are to receive immediate promotion as well as adoration from fellow personnel. Provided works are to be immediately published for the admiration of personnel.

Description: SCP-XXXX-J is a bowl of salad. Whether or not it actually is salad is unknown, as its anomalous properties manifest before anyone can eat it. When a human person(s) is placed within a ten meter distance of SCP-XXXX-J, they will immediately exhibit symptoms from either the Majority Effect or the Minority Effect. The majority of humans exposed to the object obviously experience the Majority Effect. While there are drastic differences between the two groups, subjects from both will hallucinate that SCP-XXXX-J is providing to them an original work of fiction. The same work appears to be provided to each test subject, assuming that they are part of the same test. A new work is provided for each subsequent test.

The following test logs serve to describe the fundamental differences between the two effects.

Test #42
Researcher: Dr. Callahan
Subject: D-8274
Dr. Callahan: Please approach the bowl of salad.
D-8274: It's just a salad bowl. What do you expect to ha…..
Dr. Callahan: D-8274, what do you see?
D-8274: I see…..a story. It's flowing off the leaves of the lettuce. Oh my…..it's…..it's….beautiful.
D-8274 begins to weep
Dr. Callahan: What is the story?
D-8274: It's so elaborate…so intricate….It describes a subcutaneous pillar of eternal nothingness pertaining to the haberdasheries of London, England during the seasons of dandy-summer. It tells a coagulative story of the articulate maidens of Grantville who use their flaming edges of superiority to properly ascertain the femoral aspirations of aquatic lizard folk.
Dr. Callahan: It sounds so……beautiful!
Dr. Callahan begins to weep with D-8274
End of test. D-8274 experienced the Majority Effect. D-8274 was released from the D-Class program and granted status as a Level-2 researcher. The story has since been transcribed and published, where it maintains a solid 400 positive ratings.

Test #43
Researcher: Dr. Kirkbride
Subject: D-6712
Dr. Kirkbride: Please approach the bowl of salad.
D-6712: Uh, okay. Hold on a sec….what in the….?
Dr. Kirkbride: What do you see?
D-6712: It's….just a jumbled bunch of words.
Dr. Kirkbride: What do they say?
D-6712: I….have no idea at all. It makes no sense at all. It's just paragraph after paragraph of nonsense.
Dr. Kirkbride: That makes no sense. I'm coming in.
Dr. Kirkbride leaves his observation post and enters the room
Dr. Kirkbride: It's….it's……beautiful!
D-6712: I know, it's utterly terrib…wait, what?
Dr. Kirkbride: It speaks of the electric iconoclasts of the pagan-barbarian eons of effeminate magnificence. It tells of dissertations of perceived eccentricities of a lamentation-worthy regard, where the apocryphal supercalifragilisticexpialidociouses take over the subterranean medical huggers of the planet Crampea.
Dr. Kirkbride sheds a single tear and quivers his lip. D-6712 has an expression characteristic of utter confusion
D-6712: What you said makes no sense at all. I mean…what? That's just a bunch of gibberish.
Dr. Kirkbride: Surely you are joking. How can you not marvel at its magnificence? You must read it again!
D-6712:: Ok. Hmmm….yeah, it still makes no sense at all. It's just this huge heap of Word [EXPUNGED].
Dr. Kirkbride: Did they get you from the 'Special Needs' cells? How can you not understand the marvelous intricacies of this beautiful story!? This authorship has no equal!
The two begin to loudly argue with each other. After twenty minutes of shouting, the two resort to a lethal fistfight. Dr. Kirkbride eventually triumphs and returns to the observation post.
Dr. Kirkbride: ……test concluded.
End of test. D-6712 experienced the Minority Effect. Dr. Kirkbride received Level-5 clearance for his actions as well as a significant pay raise. The story has since been transcribed and published, where it maintains a solid 700 positive ratings.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License