Title Page
Page 1
//HOGSLICE is standing
HOGSLICE: HELLO FUCKFACE. MY NAME IS HOGSLICE. BUT YOU CAN CALL ME THE HOG.
Page 2
HOGSLICE: I SPEND MY TIME WINNING ARGUMENTS ONLINE. PEOPLE DARE TO HAVE TERRIBLE WEAK BETA-MALE OPINIONS. I DO THEM A FAVOR AND GENTLY CORRECT THEM.
Page 3:
A view of HOGSLICE's computer screen, with a social media post from dado's account.
HOGSLICE: EVERY NOW AND THEN I STUMBLE ON THE SAME SHITHEADS SQUACKING THEIR NO-BRAINED MOUTHS OFF.
dado: hmm yes u buy new orange tasting pill by dado supreme deal. dado not responsiple for eye bleading or missed periods. buy today only 7.99 american. u trust dado and dado trust u loyal customer. for more info pls reread.
HOGSLICE: I WANTED TO SURF THE INTERNET IN PEACE BUT YOU DARED TO REAR YOUR UGLY UNLICENSED HEAD.
- FACT: dado DOES NOT HONOR RETURN POLICIES.
- FACT: dado LACKS MEDICAL LICENSE.
- FACT: dado IS PROBABLY HERE ILLEGALLY.
ITS A SAD DAY WHEN QUACKS LIKE YOU TRY TO FOOL WITH AMERICAN PATRIOTS LIKE ME. AND STOP MESSING WITH MY KEYBOARD. dado PISSING ME OFF WITH THIS SHIT.
—HOGSLICE
HOGSLICE is playing on an arcade cabinet labeled "The Seventh Door". The screen is showing a list of high scores; HOGSLICE is in fourth place.
- J.D: 7034
- HBK: 7000
- RAL: 6871
- HOG: 6599
- DJK: 5740
- PJP: 5595
- ARD: 5555
HOGSLICE: THESE FROG-MUNCHERS THINK THEY'RE BETTER THAN ME BECAUSE THEY GOT A HIGHER SCORE THAN ME????